I was on a sales call with a gym owner who had been referred by a couple of his colleagues—other gym owners we’d worked with.
They’ve told him our marketing actually worked. So, naturally, he came in expecting some kind of magic.
From the moment we got on the call, he questioned everything. “How does this really work?” “Why should I trust you?” “What if it doesn’t deliver?
Now, I’m no stranger to scepticism. I’ve been in sales for over 20 years, so I always expect it. But this guy was relentless.
And this is usually where less experienced salespeople would make a mistake by trying even harder to win the guy over, to reassure him, to sweeten the deal.
But I didn’t.
I put my foot down. I told him straight up, “Look, I don’t think we’re a god fit. Maybe this isn’t for you.”
And he was happy to leave it there. He didn’t push, didn’t negotiate—just thanked me for my time, and I thanked him for his time and ended the call.
I thought that was the last I’d hear from him.
But then a couple days later, he came crawling back.
Now, he didn’t come right out and say it, but it was obvious by reading between the lines—he was interested, maybe even desperate to work with us, but wouldn’t admit it.
He danced around the topic, asking questions that screamed, “I’m interested!”, without even saying the words.
So sometimes, you win the sale by not chasing it. And instead, make them chase you and pitch you why they should give you their money.
This isn’t exactly new. You’ve probably heard it before.
“Don’t be desperate. People can smell desperation. And it’s not a good smell. Let the customer come to you.”
Yeah, yeah, you get it.
But the thing is…
It works.
In fact, it works so well that entire industries thrive on this principle.
Think about luxury brands, high-end consultants, or even exclusive clubs—none of them are chasing after you to buy.
Instead, they make you want in by being indifferent to whether you do or do not.
And in sales, the psychology is exactly the same.
It works so well because you reclaim control. When you stop trying to convince someone and say, “maybe this isn’t for you”, you flip the power dynamic. Suddenly, you are the one in control.
You’re no longer chasing; you’re creating scarcity. And when something feels scarce, its perceived value goes up.
It creates a sense of insecurity in your prospect, then they’ll be the ones working to convince you.
You also signal confidence in your value. The second you show you’re willing to walk away, it says volumes about your conviction in what you offer.
You’re not desperate. You don’t need to beg for their business. This confidence is magnetic.
However…
This approach doesn’t always apply in every situation in sales.
If you’re doing cold sales—like door knocking or cold calling—indifference might be a bit harder to pull off.
If you’re still battling to win their attention, being indifferent too early could lose you the sale before you even start.
BUT, once you’ve won over their attention and started the conversation, this is usually where you can flip the frame and let them come to you.
It’s about timing.
Win their interest first, then show them you don’t need them.
Have you ever tried winning the affection of a cat?
If you have, you’ll know that the harder you try, the more they’ll run away from you.
Cats hate being chased. They’ll dart off like you’re the most annoying thing in the world.
But the moment you stop, sit down, and pretend you couldn’t care less… guess who comes strolling back, acting like you’re their best friend?
That’s the paradox of attention. The more you try to force it, the more it slips through your fingers.
But the second you act indifferent, suddenly you’re the most interesting thing in the room for them.
Sales isn’t much different.
When you push too hard, when you chance, when you desperately try to “convince” them to buy, you’re doing exactly what they hate.
People want what they can’t have. The moment you suggest that your offer might not be for them, you’ve introduced scarcity and exclusivity. And that’s a powerful motivator.
Just like how cats end up on your lap when you ignore them, your prospects start to reconsider and gravitate back to you when you stop pushing.
It’s that little shift from chasing to being chased that flips the dynamic—and suddenly, you’re the one holding all the cards.
Whoever holds the frame holds the power.
The frame is the underlying context of the conversation, the unspoken “rules” that define who’s in charge. When you set the frame, you control how the conversation unfolds.
Most prospects walk into sales conversations assuming they hold the power.
They think they’re the ones deciding whether or not to buy from you.
And that’s true—unless you flip the frame.
By suggesting they might not be a good fit, you’re flipping the frame.
Suddenly, they’re no longer in the position of deciding if they want to buy.
Instead, they’re deciding whether you will let them into your exclusive club of clients.
This frame-flipping move works because it triggers the prospect’s desire to prove themselves worthy.
It’s a subtle, psychological shift that can turn the entire conversation in your favour.
Now, I’m not saying you should go around telling every prospect that they’re not a good fit.
You need to use this tactic selectively.
It works best when you’re dealing with prospects who are overly sceptical, hard to please, or simply indecisive.
These are the kinds of people who, if you try to push too hard, will run in the opposite direction.
But if you show them that you’re in control—that you’re confident enough to walk away if it’s not the right fit—suddenly, you’ve got their attention.
When they come crawling back (and they often do), they’re no longer in the driver’s seat. You are.
Sometimes, the best possible move in sales is creating an environment where your prospect feels compelled to convince you why they’re worth your time.
This subtle shift from chasing to being chased can make all the difference.
And this is just one small example of how framing can dramatically improve your sales.
We’ve got a lot more where that came from.
In fact, if you found this helpful, then you’re going to love what we’re cooking up for some time next year in our brand-new offer: The Hopper’s Program.
We’re building an exclusive coaching and community offer to teach business owners like you exactly how to apply powerful sales strategies like this one.
Along with the EXACT marketing system we use to consistently deliver great results for our clients that you can apply to your business.
If that sounds interesting to you, then keep an eye out.
We’ll be announcing it in our email e-newsletter which you can subscribe to using the link below:
(Also contains free 50 content ideas)
https://purplebunny.com.au/social-media-content-ideas/
And if you want to see how our team can help you with your marketing, you can contact us using the link below.
